🌱 Unspoken Wounds of Friendship: From Childhood to College Life (0–22 Years)

🌼  The Pain We Don't Talk About

Friendship is often celebrated in selfies, stories, and parties. But beyond the filters lies a reality many silently live with:

Being excluded from groups,

Being judged by someone who once knew your heart,

Being forgotten after doing so much for someone…

This blog is a journey through the emotional impact of unhealthy friendships, from childhood through college. Whether you are a parent, teacher, or student — this insight is for every soul who has felt alone in a crowd.

👶 Ages 0–5: Learning to Trust

Even toddlers feel when they're not chosen for play.

If adults or peers show favoritism or rejection — they silently internalize it.

🧠 Effects:

Seeds of self-doubt and comparison.

Emotional patterns of pleasing or withdrawing begin.

🌿 Ayurvedic note: This is the Kapha age — strong impressions form. Children need emotional nourishment.

🧒 Ages 6–12: Innocence Meets Exclusion

This is the age of school groups, best friends, and birthday invites.

💔 Hurts Include:

Not being included in games

Being mocked for physical appearance

Early gossip and jealousy

🧠 Emotional Effects:

Anxiety before school

Feeling "less than" or unwanted

Starting to change oneself to be accepted

👧 Ages 13–17: Teen Pressure & Identity Confusion

Teenagers deeply crave acceptance from their friends.

But this is also when toxic patterns often begin:

Controlling friends

Being left out of class groups

Cyberbullying

Judged for appearance, relationships, or scores

🧠 Mental Effects:

Low self-worth

Disordered eating

Secret depression

Inability to trust others

🌿 Note: Emotional rejection increases Vata – leading to restlessness, poor sleep, and emotional instability.

🎓 Ages 18–22: College Life – Freedom with Fragile Friendships

This is when many students face:

Fake friendships

Used-when-needed friends

Groupism and indirect bullying

Comparison over placements, looks, followers

Roommate politics

Being ghosted after deep emotional 

💔 Common Emotional Experiences in College:

🔹 1. “They only needed me for notes, now I’m invisible.”

You give your best — your time, energy, emotional support — only to be replaced or forgotten.

🔹 2. “Everyone is moving ahead. Why am I left behind?”

Seeing friends achieve goals faster triggers self-doubt and imposter syndrome.

🔹 3. “I live with people, but feel completely alone.”

Toxic  peer groups drain energy.

No emotional connection, just small talk or mockery.

🔹 4. “They judged me for being simple or spiritual.”

When you don’t drink, party, or dress like them — you’re labelled “boring”, “old-fashioned”, or “backward”.

🔹 5. “I was always there. But when I was crying, no one noticed.”

The most painful part: your pain goes unseen, because you’re always expected to be “strong” or “cheerful”.

🧠 Psychological Effects:

Emotional exhaustion (feeling tired without doing anything)

Inability to trust new people

Academic burnout

Loss of confidence in career, appearance, or social self

Secret emotional breakdowns or addictions

🌿 Ayurvedic view:

This is the Vata-pitta stage — where comparison, ambition, fear, and instability dominate.

Sattva-based friendship is essential to balance manas (mind) and preserve ojas (emotional strength).

🩹 When Goodness Goes Unseen

You might have:

Helped financially

Supported them emotionally

Been loyal through their breakups, struggles, and lowest moments

Yet — they forgot it all. No thank you. No loyalty. Just silence, or worse… blame.

💭 It Leaves You Wondering:

“Was I not enough?”

“Do good people always get left behind?”

“Why do I always give more than I receive?”

But hear this loud and clear:

Your love is never wasted.

What they forgot, your soul remembers.

Don’t let their ignorance steal your light.

🌻 Healing Journey – What You Can Do

💬 Emotional Healing Tools:

Write letters you’ll never send – express unspoken pain.

Affirmation practice: “I am not too much. I gave my heart, and that is beautiful.”

Build a self-loving routine – nourish, protect, and uplift your own spirit.

🧘‍♀️ Ayurvedic Tools:

Ashwagandha, Brahmi – for anxiety, mental fatigue

Shiro abhyanga (head massage) – for Vata calming

Tulsi tea – to reduce emotional heaviness

Walking barefoot in nature – to ground excess mental energy

💛 

Don’t shrink to fit into spaces that were never made for your light.

Friendships should feel like warmth, not weight.

You’re not hard to love. You’re just in the wrong circle.

🕊️ If You're Struggling… You're Not Alone

we hold space for:

Emotional wellness talks for anxiety, depression, and burnout

Youth counseling and personal guidance